“I AM TIRED”
This piece represents the loss and grief of being an immigrant. The idea came to me while I was at work, feeling tired and exhausted — a feeling that has followed me ever since I moved to America. As an immigrant, you have to work twice as hard to achieve anything, because when you move to a new place, you start with nothing. You have to build your life from ground zero with very little or no help.
It is difficult. When this thought came to me, I felt sad, lost, and deeply missed my old life in Russia.
The letters in the background of the painting say: “I am tired. Why does it hurt so much? Why is it so difficult for me? Why is everything so difficult?” These questions reflect the internal struggle I face every day.
I decided to create this piece as a manifestation of my grief for the life I left behind, and the ongoing challenges I experience as an immigrant living alone in New York. The figure is me, sitting in my apartment, surrounded by the thoughts running through my mind in the background.